Lies that Too Many Empaths Believe

Do you find that a lot of today’s empath advice is… confusing? Let’s bring some clarity.

Look, I’m an empath. Actually I’m America’s most experienced Empath Coach. When I published the first book for empaths, there was none of this whining.

Now Amazon sells over 7,000 books for empaths. Plus there’s a ton of victim talk about empaths on social media and at some popular websites.

This article is for you even if you aren’t an empath. Soon you’ll see why.

Because I’m going to bring perspective on three popular myths about being an empath. Reading what I have to say may shock you. But then you can decide for yourself what is TRUE or FALSE.

Altogether, Our Goal Is Empath Empowerment®

And that’s real-deal Empath Empowerment. (YouTube video link there!)

Quite different from the majority of articles you’ll find online: Woecake-type articles, perfect for pity parties and wallowing in victimhood. Moreover, usually these articles concern problems that people have even if they aren’t empaths.

Yowza! Recently I came across that kind of article. Authored by Lauren Valko. Appropriately for woecake, it’s entitled “14 Problems Only Empaths Will Understand.”

But does that mean I’m sayin’, “Get your hankies ready”? Hardly!

More like, you’ll find out why I have a problem with those so-called problems.

Fortunately you’re hanging out now with America’s most experienced empath coach. This YouTube video can bring you perspective on what can really help you as an empath. Versus what can’t. And won’t.

Before we get started on solving empath problems, hello! How about we establish some basic understandings?

First of All, What IS an Empath?

About 1 in 20 people was born with lifelong talent as an empath. Although everybody has a valuable degree of sensitivity. (This you can learn about by clicking on the previous link.) Being an empath is just one option. Each degree of sensitivity is good for some things, bad for others.

What if you score 20 on the Energy Spirituality Sensitivity Scale? Regarding that lifelong talent as an empath, what does that mean?

Every empath alive has talent for experiencing directly what it is like to be another person.

Period.

But does that mean emotional anything? Not really. And while we’re at it…

Do Empaths Necessarily Have Any Kind of Special EMOTIONAL Experience?

Hardly! Look, pretty comprehensive is this list of empath gifts that I’ve developed. Actually only 2 of those gifts involve emotional anything. That’s 2 gifts out of 15!

What if you’ve “learned” from mainstream culture that, “Empaths feel other people’s feelings”?

This so-called description of being an empath is false. False, limiting-and-false.

Although my Google search for this meme showed how many hits? 35 MILLION. So you’re likely to bump into this misunderstanding — or outright — very often.

What IS True Then?

I’m going to quote three self-pitying ideas about empaths. “Inspired” by an article authored by Lauren Valko. Appropriately for woecake, it’s entitled “14 Problems Only Empaths Will Understand.”

Let’s bring clarity to some of these alleged “Problems” that empaths supposedly have.

#1. Other People’s Emotions Will Change YOUR Emotions?

Ooh, do you feel as though “Others’ emotions can flip yours like a switch”?

As described in the aforementioned article at the Highly Sensitive Refuge website:

One minute, you’re having a good day. Next? “Your partner gets home.” Supposedly that’s enough to erase your “good vibes.” And now it’s it “hard to hold space” for the other person. Because why? (Again, supposedly) you’re now trying to manage the same feelings as your partner.

But is that TRUE of you?

For Heaven’s sake! Do your emotions belong to you or to any random person in your life?

Also noteworthy: An implied definition here is that your sense of self is a combo of emotions and vibes. False, false, false.

You are so much more. What can you do if you’re an empath? Learn the skills of real-deal Empath Empowerment®. And that’s real-deal Empath Empowerment. (YouTube video link there!)

Automatically, you can get your life back. Including a full sense of self.

By Contrast, Here’s Perspective from the Skills You Learn with Empath Empowerment®

Never try to “hold a space” for people. This idea comes from the New Age Years. Starting with “Empowered by Empathy” (published in 2001), I’ve taught one set of exercises around this, for educational purposes.

Never would I recommend “holding a space” as a way of being with people in everyday life. In my view, that’s painfully close to today’s fad for “mindfulness.”

Although, by all means, COMMENT below if you have any questions about holding a space.

Meanwhile, is this woecake idea about empaths the least bit TRUE?

Nah. Anybody — anybody at all — can “catch” another person’s emotions. Much like catching a yawn in a crowded room.

Will this be the first time that Lauren Valko, the author of this article, does this silly trick?

Take a common human problem and blame it on being an empath? Score 1 Confusion Point so far, out of 1, for Lauren’s “Empath Problems.”

Granted, if you’re an empath with Emotional Intuition and/or Emotional Oneness, you may have this emotion-catching problem. Among others. All the more reason to develop Empath Empowerment if you’re a born empath.

More important, strengthen your sense of self. Whether you’re an empath or not.

#2. Emotional Fatigue Is What You Battle, On a Regular Basis?

Feeling overwhelmed? Elaine Aron gave her pioneering book about Highly Sensitive Persons this title:

How to Thrive in a World that Overwhelms You.

As a result, the world’s energy hypochondriacs were off and running. As described in the aforementioned article by Lauren Valko:

“Feeling your own emotions can be exhausting enough. But as an empath who picks up on what everyone around you is feeling, it can quickly become way too much.”

Supposedly.

But is that TRUE of you?

God no! First of all, some foolish empath teachers define being an empath in this way.

Second, this sort of thing does happen to unskilled empaths. Regardless of their empath gifts!

Yet skilled empaths don’t wind up taking on STUFF in their auras. Leading to this sort of experience. One of many reasons to become a skilled empath!

By Contrast, Here’s Perspective from the Skills You Learn with Empath Empowerment

Do you know any other Empath Teacher, besides Rose Rosetree, who teaches about unskilled empath merge? Of course I can teach you about all the following:

  1. What is unskilled empath merge?
  2. How it happens? Complete with illustrations.
  3. Exactly how to stop it?
  4. Learn all of this and more in “Empath Empowerment in 30 Days.”

Typical of the “expert” at Highly Sensitive Refuge, she can’t do anything but complain… then host a pity party. Following that, she supplies clichés. (In order to remedy what she clearly doesn’t understand.)

For instance: “Empaths have to carefully manage their emotions.” Pop psych at its most common! Also, imo this is a pretty terrible thing to do to yourself, as illustrated here.

And is this woecake idea about empaths the least bit TRUE?

Tricky business, this time. Because, yes, some empaths can have this problem.

However, so can any other random person. Due to a ton of reasons that have nothing to do with being either an empath or HSP.

Take a common human problem and blame it on being an empath? Yep. Score 2 Confusion Points so far, out of Lauren’s 2 “Empath Problems.”

#3. So Saintly! Empaths All Have Such Wonderful Compassion

Supposedly, we’re just too caring. By comparison non-empaths are rotten-and-selfish.

Oh-so-sad… If this nonsense were valid.

As described in the aforementioned article:

“At the same time, not being able to shut off compassion for those around you can feel heavy and leave you carrying a lot of burdens you may not have control over.”

But is that TRUE of you?

Hope not. Because that sure sounds like codependency, doesn’t it?

Ever watch the TV sitcom “Everybody Loves Raymond”? Hilarious villain Marie, the insufferable mother-in-law, surely believed herself to be compassionate.

By Contrast, Here’s Perspective from the Skills You Learn with Empath Empowerment

Busybody life has nothing to do with being an empath. It can happen for many reasons but, really, none necessarily involves being an empath.

And is this woecake idea about empaths the least bit TRUE?

Uh-oh, did Lauren Valko, the author of this article, do this silly trick?

Take a common human problem and blame it on being an empath. Yes indeedy. Score 3 Confusion Points so far, out of Lauren’s 3 “Empath Problems.”

In Conclusion

Mainstream teaching for empaths bears zero resemblance to what I’ve been writing about all along: Real Deal Empath Empowerment.

Maybe this article can help to trash some ideas you’ve snacked on from Collective Consciousness.

And if you’re curious to learn about 11 more preposterous ideas about empaths’ “problems,” hop on over to the original version of this article at my personal website. COMMENTS are a’coming. I plan to tackle every one of the woecake ideas that are so popular… and so very-very unhelpful.

Rose Rosetree says, “Thanks for reading. These days there’s no shortage of advice for empaths. Only you can decide for yourself what’s true? What can really help to improve your quality of life?”

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