How to Avoid Fake Positivity
Not So Easy, Considering All Today’s Pressure to “Be Positive”
Even if all you’ve been doing is a smidgen of fakeness, this post can make your life easier.
How to avoid fake positivity? Here are some how-to ideas that can make a difference.
Maybe help you all the way down to your chakra databanks! (And what’s the practical reason why this could matter a lot? Keep reading.)
First of All, Is it Judgy? Even SAYING There Is Such a Thing as “Fake Positivity”
I don’t think so. Since I happen to believe in discernment.
Granted, many people today boast very proudly, “I don’t judge anyone,” guess what? In the same breath, unsaid, they’re telling you:
“I lack standards.” Or maybe even, “I don’t have the guts to take a stand on anything.”
In my view, discernment matters. Honesty matters. Coupled with standards about pursuing positivity.
Sure, the ideal of “I never judge” seems appealing. However, I wonder this:
Exactly how much damage is done on a daily basis to people’s integrity… Damage done to their integrity because they’re trying so hard to BE POSITIVE? Or “never judge.” That sure can lead to a lot of ugliness within people’s auras.
All that said, let’s roll up our truth-seeking sleeves. And continue! We’ve got work to do. For instance, I just googled “Staying Positive” Would you believe? 338,000,000 hits. So many true believers, when this approach hurts instead of helps.
If You’re Honest, You Can Easily Recognize Fake Positivity
Because you’ll see and hear it in others. Not all other people. But some of them.
For instance, remember the example of Joe’s Fake Positivity in our “Staying Positive” article? To this day, I remember the unintentional ugliness of Joe at that party. Like, how he was straining with might and main. Straining to always and only say positive things.
Back then, Joe smiled so hard, maybe his teeth hurt. Perhaps, inwardly, Joe felt even more uncomfortable than he looked? If so, he ignored it.
Already a Clue for Avoiding Fake Positivity
Starting now, you can own “Fake Positivity” as a concept:
- A something to notice, when you see it.
- A quality to somebody’s voice, when you hear it.
- Even a sense within your own gut feelings: “Hey, something about Joe isn’t right.”
Undeniably, you can sniff out fake positivity. All it takes? Simply notice when somebody works hard to be VERY, VERY, TOTALLY, ALWAYS, PERFECTLY POSITIVE. Is it some verbal schtick. Or a smirk? Or some other tell?
Especially don’t blind yourself to this, out of the desire to be “spiritual.” Far as I know, God isn’t a big fan of lying or self-deception.
Moreover the kind of affectation that I’m calling “Fake Positivity”? This doesn’t just happen. It takes work.
What Kind of Work, Exactly?
For example, at that party, Joe was trying visibly hard. Trying to push himself into positivity.
Maybe inwardly, he was using willpower. Or trying extra-hard to act upbeat… whenever he felt bad. Whatever?
Asking why isn’t really your business or mine. Instead, Blog-Buddies, it’s enough to recognize fake positivity. And count that observation as discernment. (Not being judgmental.)
It will help you in life, developing discernment about false positivity in others.
Next Step. Could We Sometimes Be the Ones Trying Too Hard?
Once you’ve notice other people push-push-pushing their perfection… Soon you’ll be able to catch yourself if you start to do it.
I don’t mean something big and grotesque. Nor do I suggest that you constantly monitor your authenticity.
More that you can tell when that kind of strain is happening. Maybe, then, you’ll easily remember this:
What’s the use of faking positivity? It makes people seem phony.
Inevitably, fakeness shows in auric modeling, too. (Basically, at a subconscious level, everybody else gets the message. Fake!)
Next, Be Prepared to Avoid This Other Kind of Fake Positivity
What kind? Here are some clues?
- No effort.
- Zero desire to impress other people.
- More of a personal bad habit.
Let’s call this “fake positivity not done on purpose.” I ought to know about that kind. Here’s a somewhat embarrassing teaching tale.
Really, It’s an Embarrassing Teaching Tale
But at least it’s in the past. Some 20 years back in the past.
For a year, I used to do weekly sessions as the client of a fabulous energy healer, “Ms. Gladys.” She helped me so much. Especially helpful was one particular session. Probably I’ll remember it until the day I die.
Here’s what happened. We were having a regular session when, in that caring way she had, Ms. Gladys said this:
May I tell you something that you won’t like? Still, I’d like to tell you, because I think it would be helpful.
Okay. You’re such an idealist, sometimes it’s like you’re wearing rose-colored glasses. As if you want everyone and everything to be pretty-pretty.
Look, I know you’re a sweet person, definitely not meaning anyone harm by doing this. But you shade things toward the positive until it’s kind of like lying to yourself.
Holy Cow!
Ms. Gladys was totally right. I got the truth of her words immediately. Particularly since — probably like you readers — hellooooo! I’d vastly prefer learning how to improve… than to “always be right.”
Much as the truth stung, I started to change. Once Ms. Gladys pointed out this problem, I stopped. Meaning what, specifically?
- I stopped making excuses for people.
- And no more denying what people actually did… While I tried so very hard to “See the Christ in them.”
- Absolutely no more ignoring what people actually said. Due to working overtime to explain away their “interesting” problems.
- Paying attention to reality is actually easier.
- And far less complicated.
Summing Up, What Helped Me Most to Avoid Fake Positivity?
For me, the trick was to stop forcing my ideals on reality.
Why engage in an inauthentic version of positivity, however pastel-perfect?
And you know what? I couldn’t be an Enlightenment Coach today… Unless Ms. Gladys, or somebody else, had the guts to tell me about that blind spot.
Extra Credit
Here are your links to a Quick Education in Positivity, Authentic and Fake…
As a matter of fact, certain articles at my personal posts can easily bring you up to speed:
- Staying Positive. Part 1 of 5
- Fake Positivity Shows in Auras. Part 2 of 5
- Happy Interlude: Chuck Schumer’s Positivity Chakra Databanks. Part 3 of 5. Notably, this chakra databank reading gives you an example of true positivity.
- Today, of course, is Part 4 of 5.
- And finally, Part of 5 Brings Practical Tips to Help You Be Positive.
