Boundary Work for Empaths
Sensible Perspective from America’s Most Experienced Empath Coach: The Boundary Emperor Has No Clothes.
Boundaries for Empaths? Boundaries for other people? Metaphorical boundaries for all who believe in “Healthy Boundaries”? Hey, that commonplace idea just turned up 167 MILLION hits on my Google.
Look, Blog-Buddies, do you know that ideas like this belong in the Nice Try Department? To put it politely!
Today you’ll learn more about how truly unproductive this boundary work is. Except as busywork. So let’s explore.
Instead of the boundary nonsense, every minute you spend on authentic personal growth could be a good use of your time. Don’t you agree?
Famously, Robert Frost Wrote…
“Good fences make good neighbors.” Only Hello! Robert Frost didn’t believe that. That excerpt from his poem “Mending Wall” has become way famous. But don’t blame the poet. Click on the link just provided.
Read the actual poem and you’ll see that sentiment came from Frost’s foolish, obnoxious next-door neighbor.
“Good fences make good neighbors” was thoroughly debunked in this poem by Robert Frost.
Were the great poet living today, I can only imagine what he’d have to write about today’s boundary work. Geesh!
As we explore here today, Blog-Buddies, you just might learn: Boundary Work for is… Worse than a waste of time.
Meanwhile, this blogpost will include a newsletter announcement. Glad to say, our related June issue of “Reading Life Deeper” will critique boundary work in style. In order to subscribe… Skip down to the heading for this month’s Newsletter Announcement.
Although the blogpost here might well be of considerable interest, too. Newsletter and blogpost are meant to complement each other, the combo helping you most of all.
In Case You’re Wondering
Why Tackle the Topic of Boundaries for Empaths… or Anyone Else?
It’s not just the notion of “healthy boundaries,”either. Do you have any idea how crazy-influential boundary work is in Collective Consciousness?
Let’s compare and contrast the popularity of the following search terms on Google.
- Boundaries for Empaths — As if this were a legitimate, helpful pursuit. Rather than a highly questionable idea! 404,000 results on Google.
- Boundaries AS AN Empath — Maybe you think that second search term isn’t terribly different from the last one. Only… 4,650,000 results on Google
- Boundaries Help Me Be Whole — Anyone can believe this. But is this true? 11,700,000 results on Google.
- Penguins Can Teach Me How to Dance — Not any random nonsense gets a ton of hits, right? Except, oops. Maybe it can. As a joke I googled this foolish idea about penguins and ta da! 23,500,000 results on Google.
- Skilled Empath Merge — Finally, something that can be truly useful for people. In the opinion of this Empath Coach, Skilled Empath Merge is the spiritual purpose of being born as an empath. Definitely, learning how to do Skilled Empath Merge is useful for empaths. Maybe even verging on miraculous. Only… hmmm, only 5,130 results on Google.
Now would be an excellent time to consider what is true. Not merely what is currently popular. For example:
Not Understanding What Empaths Are in the 1st Place
According to a well-meant self-help article, from her website that’s mostly about vegan cookery, kindearth.net….
Interesting? Self-proclaimed teacher of empaths, Anastasia Eden, offers up “7 Boundary Exercises for Empaths and Sensitive People”.
Among other popular cliches that score high on Google, Anastasia writes that:
Premise #1.
“Empaths are expanded and interconnected with all life.” Supposedly.
Premise #2.
Playing around with theories like “Boundaries Are Important.”
Premise #3.
Supposedly, Empaths NEED Boundaries
All together now: let’s take a look.
Faulty Premise #1 Is about What Humans Are Made Of
As If It Were More “Evolved” to Identify with Energy?
Many people today think so. Just this weekend I researched the old friend of my client Gladys. Aura reading her old friend Sam from a photo, it became obvious that he had lost touch with reality.
- Had Sam moved into a cult, like Fifth Dimensional Nonsense?
- Was he playing a little multitasking game with himself? Like misusing his new Consciousness Positioning Superpower?
The cause wasn’t labeled in Sam’s chakra databanks. Instead, I did find this: He had mostly teensy sizes for essential chakra databanks. Such as his Root Chakra Databank for Connection to Objective Reality.
As for the quality, it was — to use a technical term — kind of wacko.
Sure, among many people today, it’s considered superior to vibe people out. Or keep shifting away from objective reality.
Technically folks who do this are positioning their consciousness at an Astral Vibrational Frequency. (This being what happens to people whenever they start noticing energy instead of human reality.) Learn a whole lot more about avoiding this problem from “Seeking Enlightenment in the Age of Awakening.”
However, What’s Wrong with Premise #1?
Are you living in a way where you’ve pretty much lost contact with reality?, Then, like Anastasia, you might define people in terms of their expanded energy. But otherwise?
Assuming that you’re living in reality, humans are humans. Not energies. Thus, to you, empaths and other human beings are HUMAN. Rather than some far out kind of energy being. Honestly!
How reliable are self-help ideas from people who perceive themselves as what??? As being “interconnected with all life”? Not reliable. Not reliable at all.
On a Practical Note, Before We Get to Premise #2…
Beauty Is in the Eyes of the Beholder. So Is REALITY
Before you study with any teacher of personal development, here are three useful ways to protect yourself.
- Good skills of energetic literacy can help you discern who notices energies rather than human reality.
- Plus, you can learn those aura reading skills. For this purpose, I’d recommend the workshops at the link just provided.) And, to be clear, no clairvoyance is needed!
Golly, it’s so outdated, so Age of Faith, thinking that today’s aura reading involves “Seeing the Colours”: Totally untrue!
Meanwhile, No Aura Reading Required for The Third Way to Protect Yourself
Quite simply, ask these two questions of any “expert” whose work interests you:
- Do you believe that your personal energies are interconnected with all life?
- Are you on a path where your goal is to live that way?
Somebody who answers NO and NO is more likely to be making contact with objective reality.
Whereas those who answer YES have just disqualified themselves to be your teacher. Yes?!
Faulty Premise #2 Is about Boundaries
Think “Garbage In, Garbage Out.”
Playing Irresponsibly with Ideas Like “Boundaries Are Important”
According to Anastasia, “Personal boundaries are about self-respect. It’s where you draw the line. A boundary establishes what is ‘you’ and what is ‘another’. Boundaries are simply deciding what is OK for you and what is not.”
It takes the entire June issue of our next Energy Spirituality Newsletter to properly debunk this foolishness. Meanwhile, here’s your quick preview:
What Else Is Wrong with that Premise #2?
Being based on a faulty premise, Boundary Work cannot produce good results. Much like this concept in the law, “Fruit of the poisonous tree.”
That means: Legal arguments based on inadmissable evidance carry no weight in a court of law.
Likewise, struggling to succeed at Boundary Work can certainly keep folks busy. But not bring lasting benefit. More like busywork combined with mood-making!
Learn more about mood-making from the book at the link just provided. And now, finally, bring on…
Faulty Premise #3 about Boundaries for Empaths
Supposedly, Empaths NEED Boundaries
Although Anastasia’s article is very long, I never found a clear definition from her about what an empath actually is. This is as close as she comes. (Based on what I was able to find. After a while my eyes glazed over.)
“As empaths, we feel. We are going to keep feeling too because it’s our nature.”
Wrong, according to this Empath Coach. But playing around with her original faulty premises, Anastasia continues:
“Once we begin to incorporate boundaries into our lives it frees up our energy so not only are we more available for ourselves, but we can be much more available for others. We can tap into the boundless well of compassion and love that is ever-present in the universe.”
Frees up our energy? Oooh, many of you regular readers of this blog will recognize this obvious sample of Energy Talk. IMO, Energy Talk is just the start of many likely problems; all being predictable outcomes of using Anastasia’s well-meant techniques.
Specifically, What’s Wrong with that Premise #3?
Empaths Are NOT Necessarily People Who Feel Emotions
Anastasia’s main training is her work as a cook. A cook for retreats. A vegan cook, none the less.
Yes, you read that right. To repeat:
Anastasia’s main training is her work as a cook. A cook for retreats. A vegan cook, nonetheless.
Anyway, when she makes her favorite recipes, does Anastasia Eden measure the ingredients? Hopefully, yes.
Empath coaches need precision too. How do I define what it means, being an empath? Very differently. Very precisely.
Now, Our Newsletter Announcement. Sign up for a Free Upgrade to Your Understanding.
Learn More at the June Issue of the Energy Spirituality™ Newsletter
You just might find a ton of useful information. Look forward to these articles:
- Boundary Work as a Side Trip
- What Are Boundaries? Really. What’s a Boundary?
- What to Tell Empaths You Know Who Work at “Boundaries for Empaths”?
- The Best of the Blog
For Sure, this Power-Packed Newsletter Is FREE
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Sign up right away — that’s my advice.
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In Conclusion
Once you realize that The Boundary Emperor Has No Clothes, as it were? You might have a lot to say on this topic.
COMMENT away at the version of this article at my personal website. Here.
- By all means, share urls to infuriating articles about Boundaries for Empaths and Others.
- How about stories of people you know who work soooooooooo hard on their boundaries. Ever ask them why they think this helps them? Far as you can tell, does all that Boundary Work help them? Apart, that is, from keeping them busy.
Rose Rosetree says, “Thanks for reading. Here’s to a better life. Just remember, The Boundary Emperor Has No Clothes.
