Black-&-White PLUS Shades of Gray

Rose Rosetree
7 min readAug 4, 2020

Black-&-White or Shades of Gray. Which is kinder? The answer might surprise you.

Has anybody ever told you something like this? “All you see is Black-&-White. I’m different. I’m a Shades of Gray person.”

Well, guess what! Whoever told you that kind of hooey was wrong. Actually you can do both. Find out how. Also, learn WHY and WHEN each viewpoint is kinder.

Because if you don’t let yourself do both, on occasion, guess what? You’re stalling your personal growth and spiritual awakening. Equally unfortunate, you’re limiting your personal power.

First, What Inspired this Post?

Many of us have been told that we’re one kind of person or the other. Only I’m an Enlightenment Coach. Meaning, I help my clients to see through illusions. Thus, helping them to use their full potential in life. Sadly, some of my clients have been stuck in either “Black-&-White” or “Shades of Gray.” Which problem definitely inspired today’s post.

As you keep reading you’ll learn that calling somebody a “kind of person” in this way is ridiculous. Unnecessarily limiting. As if we’re doomed for life to only do one or the other. By the end of this article, you’ll appreciate more… What you’re capable of.

Seeing Black & White Means

That you’re noticing opposites. Making a clear choice. Maybe, too, you ascribe a value. Such as Choice A is bad. While Choice B is good. Also possible, closure matters to you. Like, sometimes you want to decide things already. Rather than engaging in an endless open-ended debate. Like, instead, you could move on already!

Keep reading and you’ll appreciate when Black & White could be your best choice. And the kindest, most effective thing you can do.

Seeing Shades of Gray Means

That you’re noticing subtleties. Maybe you’re very interested in exploring why people feel as they do. And why they make the choices they do. Perhaps you’re especially curious about your own Shades of Gray. Of course, that can also mean developing more compassion. Whether for others and for yourself.

Keep reading and you’ll appreciate when Shades of Gray could be your best choice. And the kindest gift you could give.

Nonetheless, It Won’t Hurt to Expand Your Understanding

Granted, what can happen as we explore the possibility of Black-&-White PLUS Shades of Gray? Here’s where things can get ugly. Because some of you place a lot of value in being your “kind of person.”

Only, remember, you just might learn that you are really both kinds of person. Fully capable of taking both views. Choosing one, versus the other — depending on the situation. Which is what it means when I say that… You are capable of seeing Black-&-White PLUS Shades of Gray.

Perhaps, Since Childhood, You’ve Been Told…

That “you are” one or the other kind of person. Or maybe “you chose to be” only that. For instance, in reaction to an adult in your life. (Between you and me, a pretty creepy person. Somebody who made a big deal about being one “kind of person” about always shades or b&w.)

But please take a deep breath, Blog-Buddies. And keep on reading this post. Because I’m never going to force you to live in a way that’s wrong for you.

All that said…

Why Believe Some People ONLY See Black-&-White?

This could be related to another person’s consciousness lifestyle. Or pattern of positioning consciousness.

If that’s your consciousness lifestyle, what happens… What if you have to live with, or work with, people who are locked into Shades of Gray? Probably they will drive you nuts. How nuts?

  • So nuts that whenever you talk them, you may become adamantly Black-&-White. (Also possible: The adamant. extreme Shades-of-Gray folks can call you that sort of person. Until you believe them.)
  • Also, you may have knowledge or beliefs that bring you a perspective that isn’t super-tolerant. (And maybe that’s a good thing!)

For Example

When it comes to that point about having a perspective based in loads of professional experience… Examples would be these Discernment Jamborees at my personal blog:

  1. Empath Coaching Aiming to help empaths choose a good teacher. Discernment coaching!
  2. Cut Cords of Attachment Discernment. Despite how very counter-culture it is today. Having developed a trademarked system that goes beyond, “Whatever you like, Honey.”
  3. Enlightenment Coaching Protection for Spiritual Seekers. Because many teachers today never got the memo that we’re living in 2020. Not aiming to hang out with the Buddha.

Although guess what you’ll find if you read some of the comments at these popular posts? I go into loads of shades of gray. Otherwise, how could it be a DISCERNMENT Jamboree???? Hmmmm.

Why Believe Some People ONLY See Shades of Gray?

One or more of the following could be the reason: Folks in Spiritual Addiction often see Shades of Gray. Exclusively! Ditto for potheads. (Note: at the link I just gave you, scroll down to the turquoise box to see the practical part about Spiritual Addiction.)

Or maybe you’re a Millennial who has been taught this. Supposedly, the very worst thing to ever do in life is to have values. (Only it’s not presented that way. Instead you’re warned against ever being that dreaded thing, “judgmental.”)

And what about sincere Christians or other very religious people? Their religion or guru may have provided ultra-strict instructions about how to live, such as:

  • Always seek to understand the other person.
  • Always forgive people, no matter what.
  • Never think about what you think or want. Since that would be “selfish” and “bad.”

Also, what if you have to live with, or work with, people who act adamantly Black-&-White. They can drive you so nuts… How nuts? So that whenever you talk them, you may become adamantly Shade of Gray. (Or the adamant Black-and-White folks can call you that sort of person. Until you believe them.)

Of Course, You Can Do Both

Others can, too. Despite what you’ve been told! By way of analogy, think about your amazing physical body.

Your Immune System

That’s a great example of Black-&-White. What would happen if a disease was trying to spread through your body? And, in response, your immune system was like: “Maybe there’s something good about that virus. Honestly, I ought to be more understanding. Time to wait and learn more.”

Your Muscles and Joints

Not only are they made to be flexible. Beyond that, these movable parts of your body express creativity. Like dancing. And so many ways to shoot hoops! Another example, how much fun would you have making love without the movement equivalent of Shades of Gray? Such a waste!

So Please Authorize Yourself to Do BOTH (Just Not Simultaneously)

Because Black-&-White thinking helps you to use your power.

  • And set goals.
  • And take decisive action.
  • Let’s not forget: Black-&-White thinking can help you stick up for yourself.

Meanwhile, Shades of Gray thinking helps you to enjoy life in its infinite variety.

  • And to learn new things.
  • Plus, learn from other people.
  • Enriching your life with every good thing that appropriate curiosity can bring.

Practical Example? Sure

During this interesting time of Covid-19, Joe is a single father. Fortunately, he’s kept his job, at full pay. As a knowledge worker, he does Zoom meetings from home, etc.

Also fortunately, he shares an okay apartment with his teenage daughter Gladys. Plus, his somewhat healthy elderly mother, Mom.

Except here’s the problem. Gladys has always been very social. Now she’s become restless. Very, extremely restless. Last weekend, after midnight, she met with her boyfriend. He “borrowed” a family car. And the two of them had a fine time that included drinking beer.

Sure, they were having a fine time… Until Boyfriend totaled the car by driving into a tree. Early next morning, Joe has the fatherly privilege of learning the news. Picking up Gladys, he’s got to tell her not to do this kind of thing again.

Now Is It Time for Shades of Gray, or Black-&-White?

What do you think, Blog-Buddies? Seems to me, in this situation, Black-&-White takes precedence. Following that, Gladys agrees to her new rules. (Namely, her old rules, only now with stronger consequences.)

And following that, maybe it’s time to hear a bit about how Gladys feels “so stifled and booooored.”

Then the two of them can start exploring how to tweak her routine to improve it.

Of course, this conversation can be involve many Shades of Gray. See how that kind of thing can work?

In Conclusion

Of course, you can move into one or the other, depending on the situation. Go forth and do it. Thereby you’ll give yourself the gift of a better life. Now it’s your turn to COMMENT. For example:

  • Have you been told you were either a Black-&-White person. OR a Shades of Gray person?
  • What happens when you admit to yourself that you are both. (Or you can be both.)
  • Depending on the situation. That’s key, isn’t it? Please share a story or two about that.
  • Practical example: When it comes to the need for mask wearing in public during the Covid-19 pandemic… Is that topic best suited to Black-&-White? Or to Shades of Gray?

Speaking of Practical, Have You Been Reading this Article on Medium?

Recently I’ve started writing on Medium. Eventually some other websites might follow. Wherever you’re reading this article? Thanks for reading all the way to the end. Here. :-)

Wow! I’d love to engage with you personally through comments here. Yes, for time management, I only respond to comments at the original article. Here, at my main blog. You’ll always find that same article, under the same title, at “Deeper Perception Made Practical.

Here, at my personal website:; that’s where I respond to comments. Yes indeed, if you COMMENT here, I’ll gladly respond.

Let’s get to meet each other in this place… dedicated to truth and mutual respect. And meanwhile, long-term Blog-Buddies at my website: Rest assured. This blog remains my main blogging space. Part of a fairly extensive website. Definitely the place to go if you’re curious about any specialty of Energy Spirituality.



Rose Rosetree

Rose has written a national bestseller in Germany. See all her books at She’s the founder of Energy Spirituality™ for spiritual awakening.